Introvert willing himself to socialise

The dreaded good-bye event for a Collegue who is leaving.  My introverted brain fires up – it’s hot out will there be a shady spot in the bar garden?  Will we be crammed around the table?  Should i get a present?  Will I have to pretend I am sad she is leaving?  Shall I even bother to go?

I went.  Armed with my new philosophy: turn up when I want, leave when I want.

Oh no!  Shady spot is taken!  I just ask if I can have shady position – it’s mine now, that wasnt so hard.  I buy one small beer, have a quick chat, simple.  I stand up to leave.  Can’t think how to say goodbye.  I demand a hug.  Big warm hug.  Done, now I can go.

Feeling good – I actually made effort to socialise.  Loving this hugging thing.  Easier than words.

That’s one event down.  Now one to go.  I’ve been invited to a BBQ party by a colleague.  He is always nice enough to chat to but don’t really know his group of people.  I know one actually, she is introverted I think, I will hang out with her at the party…

Collegue said to bring swimming costume since he has set up a pool as it will be hot.  O.m.g.  I don’t think I will be comfortable with that.  Maybe I won’t go.  2pm until late apparently.  Introverted brain is whirling away again…

2pm ’til late, that sounds like a long time!  Its at someone’s house, I don’t fancy queuing for the loo.  Where to park?  Am I really going to turn up wearing swimming costume?  It’s a BBQ, my colleague will be busy cooking and I will have to talk to people I don’t know.

I will go.  My new philosophy again.  I will turn up late and go early.

Its 4.30 pm, nice and late.  Nowhere to park.  Will just have to squeeze car into this hedge.  Yep; colleague is cooking at end of garden.  It will have to be walk of shame past all these people.  Glad I left swimming costume at home. I grab a cool beer from an ice bucket and sit in a shady spot with some dudes.

Chat goes fine.  They are not particularly intimidating, just goofy lads.  Saved by food being served.  I spy that potentially introverted women I have met before.  I will sit with her on long comfy chair.

It’s weird now I know I’m introverted.  It’s even weirder I know I’m introverted and talking to someone introverted.  She knows it as well.

Wow we have so much in common.  “funny how people form groups” she says, “i quite like sitting alone”.  Just like myself.  Strange how introverts actually ask me how I am doing, what i am up to.  Rather than everybody talking about themselves.
Think I have found a soul mate.  She is 50 and I’m mid 30s so we wouldn’t normally have much in common.  If I hadn’t found out I was introverted and what it means to be one I would probably just not made conversation with her.

“I don’t want to be the first to leave but I want to go early” she says at 6.15pm.

“me too” I said.

“when shall we go”?

“6.30?” I reply.  Off we go.  Loved that. Understood each other.  Each go our separate ways.

Forgot the hug!  Damn it!

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Introvert – introvert engagement.

There is an obviously introverted guy at my part-time work place.  How do I connect?

I am introverted; I understand how to relate to extroverted people but other introverts – I have no idea!

I can almost understand how extroverts must view introverts.  This guy sits alone at breaks which totally fine by me but the thought struck me on how and if to approach him.

I’m introverted so mostly want to be left alone.  If other extroverts around then I definitely want time out.  But what if there is a person, an introverted person around that I can have a proper chat with?  Does this guy want a nice discussion or to be left alone?  – Introverts are so hard to read!

I almost feel like going up to him and saying “yo, introvert.  What is your favourite interest?  We can talk about that if you want?”  That is what I would want people say to me.

Anyway, just curious.  How do you interact with other introverts?

Am I a terrible introverted lover?

Although the below happened today, please see the hopelessly funny side to it.  I don’t think I want sympathy..

So today, normal scenario: I get home from work and supposedly get in my partners way, every ‘wrong thing’ I have done thoroughout the week is recalled.

Okay, fine, I’m an introvert – i can’t keep up with the torrent of words, so I shut off.

Now my partner says how her workmate received flowers from her husband the other day, delivered to her work place – B#####d!  How dare he show the average male up?  So I’m left to explain why I don’t lavish gifts upon my wife.  

I’m really hoping I have some excuse by being introverted?  I guess, probably not, maybe I’m just a terrible husband.  These thoughts just don’t come naturally to me.  They should though shouldn’t they?  

I don’t think I have the imagination for romance.  How often do I buy flowers?  should I be doing something else?  I’m sure I need a manual – like when I fix my car.  A love manual just doesn’t feel very spontaneous does it?  Just not very seductive.  

Maybe it’s a matter of compromises.  It must be hard though in an introvert / extrovert relationship for both to disengage from their natural personalities to appease one another.

How can I inspire my mind to make romantic imaginings when mundane theories come more easily?

Any introverts out there that make hopeless romantics?  Or is it just me?

Why do I use WordPress more than Facebook?

Why do I feel reluctant to fire up my Facebook program?  Why am I more drawn to my newly discovered world of WordPress?

Is this an introverted thing?

I guess I prefer reading about peoples experiences that are similar to mine or of interest to me rather than the usual Facebook banter.  I suppose posting on Facebook is more about the self, the extrovert?

Just having a brain dump here.  Haven’t really processed my thoughts yet.  I feel I have more in common with introverted strangers than some of my close extroverted friends.  Does anyone feel the same?

Revelation!  I’m an introvert 

Can’t remember why, but read this article:

Why Introverts Are An Asset To The Workplace

I was shocked by how much the description matched my personality.  All this time I thought I was a bit anti-social, a bit weird.  Now I understand.  What a revelation.

If only I knew I was an introvert ages ago I could have played to my strengths rather than model myself on the popular extroverts.

Isn’t it weird that an Internet article knows more about me than I do.

Have been trying to embrace my new introverted confidence but it is hard to resist fully succumbing to it’s seductively private alure.

I feel this new knowledge of how to master my energies has a dark forbidden purpose.  Do you get swallowed by the attractive pull of quiet emptiness?

Sorry, I couldn’t find an image of how I feel but thought this was cool.